Heard the shutter click.

It’s a photo of when you touched my skin,

as if you were strumming Mozart on a violin.

The most delicate.

The most purposeful.

The most musical.

I’m trapped in that moment.

I’m trapped in that feeling.

I’ll never forget it;

It’ll always hold meaning.

This is when I felt most confident.

I was in my sexual prime,

yeah, nothing ever felt wrong.

–

It’d be thirty minutes

of nothing but your fingertips

sliding up and down my arms.

Never cared about the mental harm,

or the ringing of my heart’s alarm.

I just felt the attention.

You put me first even though I was just an honorable mention.

Once my power grew more stable,

I played with domination.

The first of its kind;

didn’t even think I was able.

You helped me grow, and bend, my spine.

You taught me how to flip the script.

To show up at your place and leave when I’m finished.

I knew what I wanted,

and I knew how to get it.

–

You were my dealer 

of an invisible drug.

Chemistry is what gets you high, 

and it’s also the most expensive.

Cruelty within the fantasies;

start confusing prayers with wishes.

–

I remember you feeling threatened 

when men approached me on the ice rink.

It burned through your eyes while you were skating around.

You were jealous of the way they were drawn to me.

Even though you had nothing to fear.

I was lost in your orbit, 

and I made that incredibly clear.

–

I became strung on while you repeatedly lied,

hell,

you even got another woman on the side.

And yet somehow,

I turned that into a better ride.

I couldn’t stop the pull.

Call it fatal attraction. 

I was hurt for a second, 

but then I chose to let it happen.

–

I’m glad I walked away,

don’t get me wrong.

I knew there was no future,

but you taught me a valuable lesson.

My needs were just as vital.

I keep that memory of me in a vial.

I pull it out and inject, every once in a while.