Tag Archives: poet

Bricks

Leave a reply

They say I’m not the same.

But who was I to them?

Did I know her?

Did I truly know her then?

Is it fair, to compare

a past life to the present?

Progress is not definitive.

Failures just mean I’ll win again.

I’ve been my own wolf in this fairy tale.

I knocked every house down.

I pointed fingers and forgot my own.

Think smarter not harder, they say.

Well, I cut far too many corners that way.

Do you claim the life you’ve built?

How heavy is your shame?

How heavy is your guilt?

It’s time to find your bricks.

Start with one, then continue on…

Your life isn’t a race.

It’s trial and error…

a loaded concept you can finally embrace.

I’ll be building this home until the day I die.

I can say I’ll have it finished, but we all know that’s a lie.

Second Star

Leave a reply

Why do you come back to me?

There’s a clear lack of consistency.

I try with you, and I fail.

We make plans, but to no avail… 

You raise my hopes just to shut them down.

I tell myself it’ll happen… next time around.

Why do you come back to me?

There’s a clear lack of consistency.

I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt…

just to get caught in the drought.

Here I am, always waiting for the rain…

knowing I have it all to lose, and nothing to gain.

Missing you is never easy.

Wishing now that you’d free me…

Why do you come back to me?

There’s a clear lack of consistency.

I blame my own desperation.

I blame needing validation.

Leave it to my damned imagination…

I thought you were different,

refreshing, and significant.

But why wouldn’t I? 

You overflowed me with lies.

Telling me that we had a chance;

forgetting to mention that it’s in Neverland.

You’ll never grow up, my sweet Peter Pan.

Yet here I am, still wanting to take your hand.

Second star on the right;

I’d still get lost with you, on any night.

Even though it’s hard for me to face…

the harsh reality that is our fate:

you come back just to leave me…

perhaps that is consistency.

Sorry

Leave a reply

I’m sorry for the way you forgot your worth.

I’m sorry for all the pain I wouldn’t cure.

I’m sorry I always told you “it could be worse.”

And I’m sorry that you’ll never say these words.

_________

You had me walking on a tight rope.

And just when I learned to balance,

you cut it in half, with such purposeful malice.

You had me wear a tight rope.

And when I learned to breathe more and panic less,

you tied it tighter around my neck.

Either way, you wanted me to fall.

Fall, fall down to my death.

_________

I’m sorry for all the weight you gained.

I’m sorry that mentally wasn’t enough; I needed a physical change.

I’m sorry I felt you were beneath me, and chose to show you all the ways.

And I’m sorry you couldn’t say sorry, even on a good day.

_________

You had me driving a rigged car.

And when I learned how to stay on track,

you shut off my brakes and revved the gas.

You had me sitting in a rigged car.

And just when I started to appreciate the views,

you’d swerve and take them away too.

Either way, you wanted me to crash.

Crash; rid of me at last.

_________

I’m sorry for all the nights I left you to cry.

I’m sorry I chose to drink instead, and make you wonder why.

I’m sorry I deleted all the messages, and continued to lie.

And I’m sorry you’ll never feel sorry, no matter how hard you “try.”

_________

The cruelest part is that I’m free from you now,

but with every day that passes, I have to fight to heal.

You left me so damaged, and so broken,

that now I beg to question if a person’s kindness is real.

Had I known I was on death row,

I would’ve at least asked for a last meal.

Walk Away

Leave a reply

Pregnancy insomnia? Found a solution.

Just like the last poem, the first four lines came to me in a soft ballad-like tune. I think my baby is bringing out the musical side in me lately! Unlike the last poem, however, I sang every word while I wrote this one. It is intended to be a song, and a comforting one at that. I hope you enjoy this beautiful, and incredibly relatable, piece.

Cheers!

Baby, walk away with me.

It’ll be the last thing we do together.

Baby, walk away with me.

Promise it’ll all get better.

___

I’m just tired of the fights,

all the sleepless nights,

questioning who’s right,

and those painful cries.

___

Once, you were my best friend.

Thought I’d be your partner ’till the end.

Our love was something others couldn’t comprehend.

And when we fell, I rose to defend.

___

Baby, walk away with me.

It’ll be the last thing we do together.

Baby, walk away with me.

Promise we’ll both be better.

___

I’m just tired of the lies,

and all the empty whys,

questioning our tries,

and losing what was mine.

___

Once, we shared the best laughs.

We could be ourselves; no masks.

Our love was so strong, thought for sure that it would last.

And when I sank, you were my life raft.

___

Baby, walk away with me.

It’ll be the last thing we do together.

Baby, walk away with me.

Promise you’ll find another.

___

Our time has come for goodbye.

I’m scared if we wait any longer,

we’ll leave hating one another.

Let’s walk away out of love.

Let’s walk away with our trust.

Let’s walk away… it’s a must.

___

Baby, walk away with me.

Let me give you one last kiss before I leave.

Baby, walk away with me.

We’ll be better for this…

For this…

I believe.

The Water

Leave a reply

I’d like to take a second and talk about my current situation. Most people have wondered why I stopped writing/releasing poems. Well, I found out I was pregnant with my miracle baby, back in August of 2021. My son, Bear, will be in my hands come this April (2022). It’s been a tough road to navigate, pregnancy wise, as I am venturing on this journey alone. I had to stop writing for a while, and truly focus on my mental well-being, for the sake of my child. I’m just now starting to write again, and it’s a beautiful thing. I’m proud of myself for the choices I’ve made, and the ones I will continue to make. Thank you to the strangers who have continued to send me notifications of likes on old poems. Each one is a pick-me-up like no other. I am forever grateful to my readers, my supporters. 

This poem was written in under fifteen minutes tonight. The first four lines came to me, in a melody, before I took a shower the other day. I sent a voice recording to my sister, who graciously told me that the tune was now stuck in her head. I also sent her this poem as soon as I finished it tonight. She’s always read my work and responded, but never with a FaceTime call. She said she wanted me to see her face, because that’s how much she loved it. She fully understood the message in this poem, and I think as a writer, that’s all we could really ask for. I mentioned how long it took me to write this, because it’s a reminder to myself that poetry is second nature to me. It’s my home and my escape… all in one. I hate that I had to walk away for a while, but I think my return is even more powerful and meaningful than before.

Cheers to my own timeline. Cheers to my writing.

Most importantly, cheers to all of you.

Enjoy.

I came to terms with the water,

and how you left me to drown.

I came to terms with the water,

‘cause I swam myself around.

______

I watched you leave on your boat.

And sail away with my love and all my hope.

Incomplete, yet set free.

How’d I let you get this hold on me.

______

I came to terms with the water,

and the current that you formed.

I came to terms with the water,

‘cause I was all I needed, and more.

______

I’ll never forget the water’s pull,

as it tried to suck me under.

I’ll never forget your smile,

your pure amusement, or your wonder.

______

I came to terms with the water,

and the sharks swimming at my side.

I came to terms with the water,

‘cause in the end, it wasn’t fear that kept me alive.

______

They waited just like you, 

for a drop of blood or two.

I never once gave in,

and let you all stay in suspense.

______

I came to terms with the water,

and how I made it my friend.

I came to terms with the water,

as I’m bound to swim in it again.

The 23rd

3 Replies

You were a beautiful distraction. 

One filled with many misleading interactions. 

I wish I could, as you so graciously state it, say less.

However that’s just not how I am. Perhaps, for the best.

To you, there’s dating and a dating phase.

Please explain, as I thought they were the same.

Your chivalry was strong, and your words were sweet.

Moving fast, you swept me off my feet.

You had me by your smile, and by your eyes.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but I thought I also had you with mine.

I changed my rules for you, nearly every expectation. 

Imagine my surprise when you repaid me with hesitation. 

You say it’s nice to be important, and important to be nice.

With how you’ve been lately, maybe you should repeat that last line, twice.

All I need from a man is respect and attention.

If that’s more than you can offer, perhaps you need some self reflection.

Here I am remembering Marley, as I channel my inner Swift.

No woman, no cry, as I continue to write down my relationship bullshit. 

Penny for your thoughts, but a dollar for mine. 

Yes, it’s your loss. Better luck next time. 

Zirconia

Leave a reply

This poem completes a challenge I started, nearly four years ago: title each blog entry with every letter of the alphabet, in sequential order (minus my first blog post, Greetings, which remains the only blog with that letter.) The majority of my work was written in the past year. For the first few years of this blog, I lost myself and my passion for writing. Once I left the relationship I was in, my creativity and desire to write came rushing back to me, like a bicycle tucked away in my garage. Although this poem isn’t about that relationship in particular, the premise is somewhat the same. I am grateful for every person who has taught me a lesson over the years. I never knew why my heartache was deserved, or what it was good for, until I started writing my book, 628: A Memoir. Thank you to my readers, whose comments have motivated me to continue. Now, I am ready to take on a new challenge.

Enjoy twenty-six rhyming lines in celebration of the twenty-sixth letter.

Cheers,

Lo.

He had just left me; broke my heart amongst other things.
Vulnerable and a fool, I thought I’d lost my king.
Then came a knight, armed for battle; his sword took a swing.
He vowed to protect me, and placed my heart in a sling.
I was instantly enamored, to him, I would cling.
A passionate love affair; unaware it’s a fling.
I saw forever with him; now I had the real thing.
In we rode, on our horse of mania, growing wings.
I wanted his commitment, in the shape of a ring.
He shared in my delusions, adrenaline rising.
Then, soon after, he asked my dad and we were thriving.
Well, after some time, our illusion started dying.
I realized I didn’t belong, but I was trying.
My knight turned into a commoner, and was lying.
I locked myself in my castle, and dreamt of flying.
Self medicated sorrow had my mind unwinding.
Doubt, regret, and paranoia altered my timing.
Where did my knight go? Was he lost? Could he find me?
My words meant nothing; I may as well have been miming.
His love would later turn to lust, and it felt grimy.
I felt embarrassed, yet compelled to leave. God, why me?
His actions were inexcusable, and set me free.
Like Rapunzel, I craved a new opportunity.
I know I did wrong too, but we burned in unity.
Something once beautiful, tarnished for you, and for me.
My finger should have bore cubic zirconia bling.

Yelling Yellow

Leave a reply

Gradually, I felt the heat exchange.

The one from his body to mine.

It happened while he wrapped his fingers around my neck.

Every inch of my skin was covered in standing hairs.

He was the catalyst for destruction. 

Physically, he could smother.

However, he couldn’t grasp my mind.

I knew I couldn’t speak to him.

So, I spoke to myself.

Yelled, rather.

For Yellow.

I couldn’t see him anymore.

He morphed into an unsettling mixture of grays. 

In his mind, he assumed I’d follow suit and dissolve into his scheme.

I wasn’t ready to fall, not yet anyway.

Questions and doubts began to cloud my thoughts.

Until, my saving grace arrived.

My Yellow.

“What took you so long?

He almost took over.”

Yellow held my hand and smiled.

“Remember that I am within you, always.

Your strength brought me here, and that same strength will save you. I’m merely a reminder.” 

As quickly as my Yellow had come, he disappeared. 

I yelled for Yellow one last time.

Thus began the mental game.

I was fading in and out of consciousness, and knew I had a minute left, at most.

It was only then that I truly understood what Yellow meant.

I yelled for myself.

My attacker released his hands.

He stepped back and looked me in the eyes,

almost as if he was giving me approval. 

I realized that without him, I’d have forgotten who I was.

I too, was a color, simply lost in categorization. 

Now, because of him, I’m defined.

My will to live has a name,

and it’s Yellow.

Xerox

1 Reply

I wrote down what happened.

Then, I set it to the side and forgot it.

Lately, I’ve been immersed in my past…

which led me back to this note.

I’d write it here, but the ink is smudged.

Every word… now blurred together.

I remember who it was about, but can’t seem to gather the details.

What’d you do to me?

I left to confront you; the note tucked away in my pocket.

I could see it on your face.

You knew why I was there.

As you raised your hand to greet me, I noticed the black on the side of your palm.

Why’d you do this to me?

There’s fear behind your smile.

Perhaps if not towards me, towards yourself.

You knew that you’d simply just delay me.

After some time, I’d no longer need this note to remember.

You should’ve burned it when you had the chance.

Instead, you chose to leave a clue…

one that led me back to you.

Was it to inflict pain on a wound I’d believed was closed? 

Maybe now I’ll receive the answers.

Only time shall tell your true intentions.

And when the truth escapes your mouth,

I’ll, once more, write it down.

Only this time, I’ll be sure to make a copy.

White Light

Leave a reply

Haven’t written a song for all of you in quite some time. Lately, I’ve been addicted to the spoken word style type of poetry.

Enjoy my latest *explicit* creation: White Light.

WHITE LIGHT 

V1: 

What a fucking massacre.

Watching blood drip off of her.

I know she’s in pain,

and I’m the one to blame.

V2: 

What a fucking massacre.

Her heart is torn in two.

I know there’s not much time,

until I watch her turn blue.

Chorus: 

What a fucking disaster.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Is sorry even enough?

I know her battle was tough.

But, I stayed silent,

‘cause I liked it.

Now, there’s no turning back.

I killed for the last laugh.

Bridge: 

Do I sound cruel to you?

She cut me too.

Mutual destruction;

we put on quite the production.

Two people who just wanted out…

But, I grew impatient,

and look what’s happened now. 

*Chorus* 

V3: 

What a fucking massacre.

A big bloody mess.

Hear both sides, then tell me

if it was an accident.

*Chorus*

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 

1-800-799-7233