Tag Archives: in love

Holy

_

Out of volleyball games

and you’re breathing heavy.

Our age isn’t like it used to be,

where we could run and do everything.

You’re sweaty and a mess,

and I haven’t got the kids to bed.

I’ve been working so hard and getting home so late.

I’m tired and I’m sore.

But that’s the last thing on my mind.

I want to be your…

_

Calves looking so tight.

Visible strength in those legs.

I holler at you

during every baseball game.

When you’re helping teach our son

how to run the bases.

I’m just in awe

and want to touch faces.

Swing that bat my way,

I’m ready for a home run today.

_

I’m forever addicted to you.

Got no shame in my game,

I’ve only got eyes for you.

You bring me to my knees.

I can barely breathe.

This is inappropriate,

but we’re married,

so it’s holy,

right?

Take me to the kitchen

and bend me over the counter tonight.

_

You could say I’m obsessed…

With the way he smells and his casual dress.

It’s not a fancy cologne,

baby it’s free,

that’s just his pheromones.

And I don’t care,

what they say about us.

You’re always on my mind

and I can’t get

enough.

_

I’m forever addicted to you.

Got no shame in my game,

I’ve only got eyes for you.

You bring me to my knees.

I can barely breathe.

This is inappropriate,

but we’re married,

so

it’s holy,

right?

Take me to the kitchen

and bend me over the counter tonight.

_

I’ve seen you in a conference room.

Leading your team like the way I want to lead you.

You work tirelessly,

you put all that energy,

into your growing company,

and baby that’s alright.

I’ll take care of you tonight.

_

I’m forever addicted to you.

Got no shame in my game,

I’ve only got eyes for you.

You bring me to my knees.

I can barely breathe.

This is inappropriate,

but we’re married,

so

it’s holy,

right?

Take me to the kitchen

and bend me over the counter tonight.

Hero

It’s something I always knew.

It’s something we all knew.

We didn’t want to address it.

We didn’t want to face it.

I didn’t want to face it.

The glances I’ll clock.

The sheep of stigma that’ll flock.

The throwing of their rocks.

The quirks they’ll mock.

The rabbit holes of horror…

they’ll simply never stop.

It was me.

It was me!

This whole time, it was me.

I’m no victim.

I’m the killer.

I’m never the substance,

only filler.

The narrative in my head

far surpasses the

reality of the life I’ve led.

What a concept.

What a threat.

This expectation that I’m vile,

you’re telling me I’ve never met?

What’s more ill?

A diagnosis or

the suppression of my character?

I tell myself what others tell me.

Turns out, it’s only silence,

and those negativities?

Baby, that’s all me.

I’m fundamentally kind.

I’m a rare comedic find.

I’m empathetic and I’m loyal.

My compassion never foils.

I succeed, and I thrive.

I’m consistently praised and recognized.

I’ve been locked in darkness,

yet shine so bright.

My heart was chronically harnessed,

yet it unleashed to Mr. Right.

I’m capable and worthy of love.

An ideology I’d simply never heard of.

This guilt and shame?

For what?

Living in my own brain?

It’s out of my control

and I finally surrender.

I’m no lost cause,

and my life will be filled with splendor.

I may be the villain in someone’s story.

They may judge and fuel their own glory.

No punishment was greater served

than the one I imposed on myself.

You’re welcome,

but now I’ve found help.

I deserve better and I am better.

I’m no hero to you.

That’s okay.

I’m a hero to myself,

in each and every way.

Landline

How do you explain to someone that they’re your life line?

A physical cord, as if it were a landline.

I feel as if I don’t care about any other calls I may receive.

They can listen to a busy tone.

Sorry, not sorry, but I’m unavailable.

Codependency? I don’t believe so.

I talk to others all the time, mainly in person.

But his calls? Those intimate late night talks?

Those are the ones that fuel every bit of my broken soul.

It’s in the small details.

The intricate yellow spiral spanning a few feet long.

Nothing grand, nothing glamorous, but it’s sturdy, safe, and reliable.

Sturdy, safe, and reliable.

How sad that these were qualities in past relationships I had never seen, never heard of; simply never knew they existed.

This landline feels like the newest cellphone on the market to me.

It’s a discovery I wouldn’t sell for any amount in the world.

They can have their shiny toys,

ones they pay extra for, monthly,

just to repeatedly break and replace.

That’s their version of reliable.

A backup plan they continuously invest in.

I don’t pay extra.

I don’t think of the newest model, an “upgrade.”

I don’t purposefully destroy.

What I have…

What I have is timeless.

What I have isn’t as easy or convenient,

but damn, does it always work.

What I have is forever.

Each spiral pulls a little further,

expanding itself to reach whichever new rooms I may venture into.

What I have is perfection.

What I have is real.

The laying on your bed and

kicking your feet in the air,

with your fuzzy pajamas on,

venting about the mundane,

and gossiping about all things spicy and juicy.

It’s nostalgic, yet fresh.

It’s peace, yet chaotic.

It may require a little extra maintenance, but we willingly do the work.

We don’t pawn it off.

We don’t hang up the call.

This is what I hold the closest to my chest.

This phone hears every beat of my heart,

and I deliberately pause to pay attention…

to hear the percussion of love on the other end.

I’m in love.

Deep, burning, indescribable love.

Lucky me,

I get to hear that baritone voice on the other end for the rest of my life.