Life with Lo

You pull me so close,

just to push me away.

All the times I’ve spent locking the bathroom door,

falling to my knees and asking God for more…

My face gets patchy due to the reaction of my tears.

I’m left to stand and face the mirror;

can’t see this physical manifestation any clearer.

You’ve slit my arteries.

You’ve left me for dead.

I’m positive you no longer care about me,

and the bloods pouring out with the dread.

Sad thing is I don’t even mind it.

Sad thing is I’ve already made peace.

Sad thing is I’ve been drowning in my loneliness.

Can’t remember the last time I even breathed.

I can’t tell what’s worse,

if you’re deliberate or oblivious 

when you hurt

my soul at its core.

I have no one.

Nothing.

Anymore.

I cry out

every day.

I scream

every night.

I collapse

at your feet,

begging to be heard and seen.

I miss the desire you once held.

I miss the yearning in your heart.

I miss the thrill of it all.

Where did we go?

Why did we fall apart?

Why is this so fucking hard?

All I need is reassurance.

All I need is physical touch.

All I need is my safe space.

Instead I’m left with twisted grace

and a vacant heart.