There sat our gas lantern,

right in the middle of our table.

As we’re cloaked in the darkness,

you told me to turn it on.

I was fearful of my surroundings,

and my thoughts just weren’t working right.

I searched high and low 

for tools to help me,

as you stood there and watched.

–

Must’ve been over an hour

of driving myself insane.

I couldn’t provide us light,

and like a silent bullet 

came the guilt and shame.

As I said sorry,

you began to smile.

You reached down in your pocket

and then hesitated for a while.

–

I watched as you pulled out the matches,

like you were some sort of God.

You struck that match

and I burned right into the ground.

Maybe we were lucky,

fortunate for what you’d found?

Ironically, I didn’t even need that light,

because I was already six feet down.

–

You loved it,

you loved the high.

Thinking you were better,

while I was thinking why.

How dare you play with my mind

like it was a general store toy.

You showed your true colors.

Not a man, but a boy.

–

Enjoy your false sense of validations,

your twisted words and justifications.

I’ll come out stronger while you remain weak.

You may have been everything I wanted,

but you’re nothing that I need.