I’m sorry for the way you forgot your worth.
I’m sorry for all the pain I wouldn’t cure.
I’m sorry I always told you “it could be worse.”
And I’m sorry that you’ll never say these words.
_________
You had me walking on a tight rope.
And just when I learned to balance,
you cut it in half, with such purposeful malice.
You had me wear a tight rope.
And when I learned to breathe more and panic less,
you tied it tighter around my neck.
Either way, you wanted me to fall.
Fall, fall down to my death.
_________
I’m sorry for all the weight you gained.
I’m sorry that mentally wasn’t enough; I needed a physical change.
I’m sorry I felt you were beneath me, and chose to show you all the ways.
And I’m sorry you couldn’t say sorry, even on a good day.
_________
You had me driving a rigged car.
And when I learned how to stay on track,
you shut off my brakes and revved the gas.
You had me sitting in a rigged car.
And just when I started to appreciate the views,
you’d swerve and take them away too.
Either way, you wanted me to crash.
Crash; rid of me at last.
_________
I’m sorry for all the nights I left you to cry.
I’m sorry I chose to drink instead, and make you wonder why.
I’m sorry I deleted all the messages, and continued to lie.
And I’m sorry you’ll never feel sorry, no matter how hard you “try.”
_________
The cruelest part is that I’m free from you now,
but with every day that passes, I have to fight to heal.
You left me so damaged, and so broken,
that now I beg to question if a person’s kindness is real.
Had I known I was on death row,
I would’ve at least asked for a last meal.
