*Takes deep breath*

I’ve thought repeatedly about what my first blog post should be about. I think before I dive into topics, I should really have you get to know me.

I am at the glorious age of twenty-four, serving scallops at a restaurant I call home, and reside in Virginia Beach, VA.

That’s just the nitty gritty for you.

My mother was diagnosed with Triple negative breast cancer nearly two years ago.

*Update: she is cancer free in both breasts now, and I thank God for that every day.*

Now, I’ll probably go into more detail about this and how it affected myself, and my family, but for now, I’ll just leave it at that.

Speaking of my employment, almost all of my jobs have been in the hospitality industry. I have passions, and then I have my personality. My personality is naturally geared towards this industry, and even though sometimes it may be a little draining, I think that’s one of my favorite things about myself. I enjoy serving others and making them feel…touched. Meaning, I want them to feel some sort of connection with me, something I believe we all need a little more of. Whether that be from a simple smile, or a genuine, “How are you?”

Seeing others have a glimpse of happiness, when they need it the most, warms my soul. I’ve hit numerous lows, and I’ve been drowned by self doubt. I know how indescribable it is when a stranger reaches out to you. The sensation of having someone you’ve never met, care about you, even for a minute. Kindness and purity, goes deeper than one could ever imagine.

There’s something to be explored there. A difference that people often blur.

I continuously sought after acceptance rather than acknowledgment.

Maybe I’ll discuss that in my next post.

Hopefully, in my future posts, I can share my travels with you all as well (and my upcoming adventures). I would travel the world, starting tomorrow, if I was financially able. There is simply so much to be seen; numerous paths that have yet to be crossed. Architecture, culture, and history ignite my imagination.

Minuscule flames can turn into massive wildfires.

I’ve always had a thirst for knowledge. You know, they say hydration is key.

When I was in middle school, I’d sit with my dad in church (prior to choir practice, as my dad just so happened to be the teacher) and copy the definitions from the back of my science books onto flashcards. I remember hammering facts after facts into my parents’ ears. Even though I couldn’t place another nail, they still found room for me. I’m grateful for that, for them; for listening and encouraging my mind to grow.

Not only did they endure copious amounts of information, but their eyes were equally as inflamed. I am a performer. Honestly, I think my brain strictly developed the right side (creativity) and merely forgot about finishing the left. Any type of performance gave me this sensation of true accomplishment. I memorized, practiced, and expanded on, what I would view them all as, mini masterpieces. Through out all of my schooling, I participated in the arts. No one who knows me would assume this, but I had and still have awful stage fright. I’d get incredibly anxious before hitting those bright lights, but somehow, simultaneously, I’d gain the courage to pursue and own it. Own every single bit of it, and enjoy it. Now, it wasn’t just theatre I was performing. This brings me back to my undeniable gratitude towards my parents. When I was fairly young, I started doing concerts for them. Some would be of songs I had written, or singing to Shania Twain, or… doing insane dances to Britney Spears. I’m a natural sales person too, apparently. I would cut out tickets to my concerts, and sell them for money to my family. Bless their hearts, as they had absolutely no other choice but to buy them.

I miss performing.

That’s another joy that has disappeared on me. Another excuse. Another regretful decision I had made, walking away.

It’s taken quite some time to find, or even so much as reminisce, these blissful parts of me. I have often wondered if I traded what I loved to fulfill the wholes of others instead. I guarantee I have given way too much of myself to other people, and forgot about myself in the process.  Balance, will it ever come?

On that note, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little tidbit on myself.

Need I remind you that I’ve only scratched the surface.

Until next time,

Lo.